


he’s getting married

by bratassly



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: Cheating, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-12 13:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18011765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bratassly/pseuds/bratassly
Summary: Colin realised he was tired; tired of pretending, tired of hurting.





	he’s getting married

4:35am. Ryan Stiles lay awake, his hands folded carefully over his stomach, his blue eyes staring up at the ceiling above him, his vision blurred and out of focus. 

4:36am. Colin Mochrie lay awake, though his hazel eyes were closed. His head rested on a warm shoulder, the pillow being abandoned long ago in favour of sharing body heat. 

4:37am. Ryan slipped out of his thoughts, swallowing back his guilt as he tilted his head slightly to the left to stare down at his best friend. The light from the moon shining through cracks in the seedy motel room's blinds cast shadows along Colin's face, making the man appear older and more worn down, tired and overworked.

4:38am. Ryan raised his head slightly, staring blankly at the window behind Colin. He should've been at home, he thought. It should've been Pat's head resting on his shoulder. But he couldn't find it in himself to move, inexplicably craving Colin's presence even when the man was lying next to him.

4:39am. Colin peeked one eye open, glancing up at Ryan and finding that he was distracted. Both of his eyes blinked open and he refrained from rubbing them, not wanting to bother Ryan, instead he watched the man. He looked torn and, despite not having confronted their shared emotions, Colin supposed Ryan was plagued by the same guilt that he was.

4:30am. The alarm beside them went off, and Ryan glanced to check that Colin hadn't woken, only to find the man staring up at him. He cleared his throat after staring down into those hazel eyes for an unnecessarily long time, reaching his arm over Colin to hit blindly along the bedside table until the incessant beeping stopped. 

When silence enveloped the room again, Ryan settled back down, staring at Colin who was yet to stop watching him thoughtfully. 

"Hi." Colin whispered, watching a small smile turn the corners of Ryan's lips upwards slightly.

Ryan couldn't help the smile that overcame him as he stared down at his best friend, "Hi." he whispered back, watching a matching smile cross Colin's lips.

He leaned down, brushing his lips gently against Colin's, who tilted his head upwards slightly in reciprocation.

When Colin's lips parted, Ryan pulled back, staring forlornly at the man's lips, "I have to go."

Colin nodded sadly, sighing heavily before rolling onto his side so his back was to Ryan. When Ryan stood up off the bed after staring at Colin's back for a while, Colin brought the covers up under his chin so he was surrounded, hoping to find some warmth but only feeling colder without Ryan.

As he watched Ryan stumble around the room, picking up various discarded pieces of clothing before pulling them on, Colin realised he was tired. Tired of pretending, tired of hurting, tired of this same routine playing every time they met up. 

Normally he'd ignore these thoughts, not wanting to screw up what he had with Ryan, whatever it was. But not today, not when this had been going on far too long. He stood up, stumbling on his feet, watching Ryan look up at him questioningly. 

Colin felt uncomfortable stood in considerably less clothing than Ryan but he pushed that feeling away, tensing his shoulders and lifting his chin in the air, "What're we doing here?"

Ryan looked panicked for a while, before he quickly turned away under the pretence of pulling on a sock. His only answer was to hum questioningly, as if Colin's question didn't deserve an answer.

Not receiving an answer, Colin groaned frustratedly and stepped forward, gripping Ryan's shoulder until the man had no choice but to look at him, "Ryan, what are we doing?"

Ryan looked blankly into Colin's eyes for a while before he cracked a smile and muttered, "Having fun."

Colin sighed, letting go of Ryan's shoulder, "Fine. You don't want to talk? We won't talk. But listen to me."

When Ryan didn't answer, Colin continued, "You're married, Ry." Ryan flinched slightly and turned his back to Colin again, busying himself with looking for his shirt, "I'm engaged. Ryan, I'm getting married in three days. You- you're supposed to be my best man. The groom sleeping with the best man behind the bride's back? You can't expect everything to just be okay."

"Sounds like a soap opera." Ryan muttered unhelpfully as he began to button up his shirt.

"Look, Ryan, when this whole thing between us began, I didn't see any future with Deb. But now we're planning to settle down. And you may be okay with it, but I don't know if I feel so good cheating on my wife." 

Ryan finally turned around, only half of his shirt buttoned up, "But you don't love her."

Instead of answering, Colin moved to sit on the bed, staring right into Ryan's eyes as he spoke, "Do you love Pat?" Ryan opened his mouth immediately and Colin shook his head, "Be honest here, Ry. I know you love her but- but are in love with her?"

"I don't know, Col. I love my wife." He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair, "But I cant- I don't know what I'd be if I didn't have you."

Colin stood up, his decision made up, "This needs to stop." He held up a hand when Ryan stepped forward quickly, "Look, I know how I feel about you, you know how I feel about you. But it's too late for you to still be figuring out your feelings. I'm not going to cheat on my wife, Ry. It's too late, I'm sorry."

"I- of course I know how I feel about you, Col. You're my best friend, I love you."

"And I love you too, but time's up." Colin tugged his jeans on, and leaned down to pick up his shirt. When he stood up, two arms wrapped around him from behind, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Ryan rested his forehead against Colin's shoulder and sighed when his friend turned around, bringing two hands up to cup Ryan's face. Ryan felt a surge of loss and frustration when Colin leaned up and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. A goodbye kiss. 

When Colin pulled back, Ryan was struck again by how old he looked and, as Colin extracted himself from his arms and continued getting dressed, Ryan glanced in the mirror hanging over the cupboard doors and found that he was looking the same. They were too old for this. He remembered when this first began; they were both so young, so full of light and hope for what their new relationship could evolve into. But now, as they both aged, so did their arrangement. They'd gotten too old to play pretend; pretending that cheating on their partners didn't bother them as long as they had each other seemed childish now. 

Colin was dressed before Ryan and the man muttered an empty, "Bye, Ryan." before the door was opened and shut and Ryan was left alone, half dressed in the middle of a sterile, cold motel room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The days dragged on and felt like months, until the night of Colin's bachelor party arrived and Ryan found himself begrudgingly waving goodbye to his wife and climbing into Greg's car, the man still under a pact with his wife to quit drinking.

He'd arrived at the bar about two hours ago and hadn't left Greg's side once. He'd only spoken to Colin once, an exchange of greetings and that was that.

He was currently sat at the bar, twirling an empty bottle in his hands. He lifted his hand to call the bartender over but another pair of hands dragged his down before he could catch the man's attention. Turning to his right, Ryan found Greg's smirking face.

"You should probably slow down." Greg chuckled at Ryan's annoyed pout, "Anyway, I want to ask you something before you get too drunk that you can't remember what day it is."

"Colin's bachelor party." Ryan answered, nodding slowly at Greg who replicated his nod amusedly.

"Yes, Ryan, well done." Greg chuckled, "Now, as much as I adore your company, Ryan Stiles, I have one question and I want you to answer it truthfully: why the hell are you over here and not glued to Colin's side like always?"

Greg had said it with a humorous tone but when Ryan simply turned his head down to watch the empty bottle twirling in his hands again, Greg realised something deeper was going on between the pair, "Ry?"

Making a decision, Greg hauled the tall man up to his feet, throwing an arm around his waist to half support him and half lead him through the crowd and out the door to the car park.

The second they were outside, Ryan reached into his back pocket, pulling out a box of cigarettes and lighting one, bringing it to his lips and sighing contentedly.

"I thought you quit." Greg's quiet voice interrupted Ryan's peace. 

"No, that was Col."

"Oh, right." Greg cleared his throat again before taking a tentative step towards his friend so he could meet the man's gaze , "What's going on between you and Colin?" 

"Nothing." Ryan rolled his eyes up to the sky, staring up into the black, blinking when a few raindrops began to fall on his face, "Nothing at all."

"Something happened between you two, right?" Greg asked again, watching the rain wet Ryan's face, "Ryan, did- did you sleep with Colin?" 

As much as he tried to hide it, Ryan couldn't help but suck in a surprised breath, immediately regretting the action as he was suddenly doubled over, coughing and spluttering, his cigarette on the floor.

Greg was patting his back vigorously, leaning down so their heads were level. When Ryan finally calmed down he straightened up and looked solemnly at Greg, "Yes, I was sleeping with Colin. But not anymore."

"Wait, sleeping? There were multiple occasions?" Ryan glowered at the man who tried to calm his delighted laughter, "Sorry Ry, but you have to understand; Greg and Brad were convinced it was all a joke and some image you two had created but I was convinced there was something real there and I- I was right." 

"Not anymore." Ryan shook his head, "There's nothing real between us anymore." 

Greg watched as Ryan pulled a second cigarette out, placed it between his lips and lit it, "Maybe you should slow down on those, Ry."

"I'm fine."

"Are you?" Greg watched Ryan shrug, "Is it- Do you love him?"

Ryan opened his mouth, exhaling deeply, smoke tumbling into the air around them and dancing with the rain, "I love my wife."

"I know you do, but do you love Colin?" Ryan didn't answer and Greg thought for a moment Ryan hadn't heard him, but the tense shoulders and his shut eyes had Greg thinking differently, "Ryan? You can trust me, c'mon, just tell me. There's no judgement here." 

"I- I think I do, Greg. I mean- I know I love him; he's my best friend but I think I might be in love with him. But I love my wife." Ryan shook his head, flicking the end of the cigarette in his hands and watching the amber ashes fall to the ground. 

"Why aren't you speaking anymore, though? Did something happen?"

"He doesn't want to cheat on his wife." Ryan answered simply, shrugging.

"So you just stopped? How do you feel about that?"

Ryan snorted, "Are you a therapist now?"

"I'm your friend, Ry. You're upset and I want to know why. You and Colin are best friends, Ryan. I would kill to have something like what you two have." Greg laughed humourlessly, running a hand through his damp hair, "You- I don't know what it is, Ry. But it's like you guys are meant to be together. I'm not saying together, together. But just together, y'know, around each other. You just fit. It's Ryan and Colin, Colin and Ryan. You can't just throw that away."

"It's his fault!" Ryan snapped, "I'm not the one who threw it away. He was fine with this until he suddenly changed his mind. He's the one who's leaving."

"But you're letting him."

"I can't force him to be with me, Greg." Ryan rolled his eyes and Greg noticed his eyes flickering back to the door to the club, clearly longing to have another beer.

Greg decided to try a different angle, "If you had the choice, if there was no Pat, would you want to be with Colin?" 

"I- I don't know, Greg. That's not going to happen, is it? There's no point even thinking about it." 

"But there is a point if the answer is yes." Greg insisted.

Ryan threw his cigarette on the floor and stubbed it out with his toe, sighing and looking towards Greg, "Why do you care so much?"

"Because you're both my friends and you may not see it, but I can see how lost Colin looks without you."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, I'd be with him if Pat wasn't around." Ryan cleared his throat, "I- I think I'd be with him now, even if Pat was around."

"You mean you'd leave Pat?"

Ryan frowned at the gravel in front of him, before slowly looking up at Greg and nodding, "I think I would, yeah."

Greg couldn't help the small smile at the sight of Ryan beginning to understand until he watched Ryan roll his eyes and shake his head, water flying off from his hair. 

"But he wouldn't leave Deb."

"How d'you know? You haven't told him how you feel, have you?"

"I haven't even told myself how I feel." Ryan laughed bemusedly.

"How do you feel?"

"I lov-" Ryan shook his head, glancing back to the door, as if expecting Colin to walk through it, "I think I love him."

"Love, lo-?"

"Yes, Greg." Ryan rolled his eyes, "love, love." 

"Then you've gotta tell him." Greg said, stepping forward and gripping Ryan's arms tightly, his friend's sleeves leaving his hands wet. 

"There's no point. He's getting married tomorrow."

"You can still-"

Something snapped inside of Ryan and suddenly the man shrugged Greg's arms off and glared at him, "No, I can't still do anything. I'm married, Colin's getting married tomorrow. We're not meant to be. That's that."

"But-"

"I said that's that!" Ryan yelled, turning around and wrapping his arms around himself, looking back up at the sky before looking back down quickly, the rain being too heavy. 

"Okay, Ryan. Just throw away everything you and Colin have because you're scared." Greg scowled at Ryan's back.

"Don't act as if you know how I'm feeling." Ryan raised his voice before shaking his head and trudging back towards the door.

Greg watched him go, staring where he'd stood long after he'd left. He spun around suddenly, kicking the gravel before following after Ryan, water dripping from his hair.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Colin and Debra in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore-" Colin swallowed thickly, unable to concentrate as the voice of the priest started to sound increasingly as if he was underwater. 

He smiled nervously at his soon-to-be wife, his hands getting increasingly uncomfortable in her grip as he became more and more aware of how much he was sweating.

Despite his best attempts, he couldn't seem to shake the feeling of intense eyes watching him. He knew Ryan was looking, why wouldn't he be? Everyone was, because that's what happened at weddings. But he was certain that the man stood just behind him, along with Greg and Brad, was trying to bore holes into the back of his head with his deep gaze.

"-these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

Colin glanced towards the Priest when he suddenly stopped, finding the man staring off to the right. Colin turned around to follow his gaze and found that Ryan had stepped forward and had a hand raised in the air. 

When he'd first stumbled forward, Ryan had been staring at the Priest, still unsure as to whether he was making the right decision or not. But the second Colin had turned and laid eyes on him, Ryan knew he had to at least try or else he'd spend his entire life wondering what would have happened.

"Col." Ryan stepped forward again, staring into Colin's eyes, full of confusion and fear. The silence that followed Ryan's outburst was deafening but Colin and Ryan remained locked in each other's gaze, staring each other down.

Eventually Colin cleared his throat and glanced to the audience, taking in the intensity and attention with which everyone was watching them. When he glanced back at Ryan, the man was staring down at his feet, "Ryan, what-"

"You can't do this." Ryan whispered, though it wouldn't have made a difference if he shouted; the hall was deadly silent and, no doubt, everyone could hear every word uttered. 

Colin's flinched slightly, vaguely noting that the grip on his hands were beginning to loosen, "You made your choice."

The harshness to Colin's whisper had Ryan feeling ashamed but he pushed on, "Well, I've changed my mind."

"You're too la-" Colin broke off and spun around to watch his fiancée's back as she ran off the small stage, her heels clicking on the tiled floor echoing around the hall. Three identical sneers were thrown Colin's way before a blur of pink rushed passed as Deb's bridesmaids followed after her. 

Colin turned back to Ryan, his breathing increasing in both speed and volume as Ryan took a third tentative step towards him. When a hand nervously reached down to brush against Colin's knuckles, a collective gasp erupted around the room and the stares and sneers all became too much. Colin turned and ran off stage in the same direction as Deb.

Greg sighed deeply, watching Ryan who was staring after Colin's retreating figure. After an awkward 10 seconds of silence as Ryan stood completely rooted to the spot, Greg swooped into his friend's rescue, planting a secure hand on Ryan's shoulder and tugging until the man turned around. 

Greg was overwhelmed by the emotion in his friend's blue eyes when the man turned around. He looked completely lost and Greg realised that this was the second time he'd seen this look; the first time being the dazed, far away look in Colin's eyes on the night of his bachelor party. 

He felt Brad begin to shuffle forward until he was stood in front of Ryan, clearly intending to shield the man from the glares of the audience. People began to whisper to each other, the noise rising until the whole room was enveloped in a frenzy of judgement and confusion.

In the middle of it all, Ryan stood staring at the floor, his mind running over everything that had happened over the past few days. He was just picturing how old Colin had looked the last time they'd been together when the room fell silent for second time. 

Not filled with any sense of curiosity to find the cause of the audience's mutual silence, Ryan remained in exactly the same position until a familiar hand fell on his forearm. 

He glanced up blankly to find the source, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of his best friend.

Raising a questioning eyebrow, Ryan found himself devoid of any worry. By now, Ryan could read Colin like a book and the current look on his friend's face was one of complete trust and relief. The only time Ryan had ever seen this look before was at the very start of their friendship, when Colin had received the news that he was to appear on Whose Line as a regular. He'd come to Ryan in a bundle of energy and had hugged him tightly and thanked him endlessly, though Ryan insisted he'd had no part in getting Colin in. 

Ryan's brief memory was cut short as Colin surged forward, a hand coming up to cup the back of Ryan's head until he was tugged forward and their lips slammed together, Ryan bringing his own hands up to cradle Colin's head.  

The audience gasped simultaneously but Ryan couldn't find anything within himself to be bothered with what people thought of him anymore. When Colin finally pulled back, Ryan held his head in place, leaning down so his forehead was resting on Colin's.

And as Ryan stared down into Colin's bright, hazel eyes he realised how happy and full of life they were. His wrinkles and white hair seemed to fade away as his eyes shone and twinkled mischievously. Ryan realised that he and Colin had never been old, not really; not when they were together. They were still the same Colin and Ryan, carefree and full of love. And, as he reached down to intertwine his fingers with Colin's, Ryan supposed love really did bring out the best in people.


End file.
